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Oct. 21, 2017

Home > Great Short Stories > IT-Relationships

Relationships in Computer Language

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend1.0 to Wife1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.

No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife1.0 installs itself such that it is always lauched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight10.3, BeerBash2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife2.0.

* A "Don't remind me again" button
* Minimize button
* An install shield feature that allows Wife2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
* An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend2.0 on top of Girlfriend1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.

To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife1.0